80+ Funny Meditation Quotes And Silly Sayings (2023)

 

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This post is all about funny meditation quotes.

Funny Meditation Quotes and silly sayings

 

What is meditation?

Meditation is the act of sitting in silence with your thoughts. But instead of judging them or attaching meaning to those thoughts, you observe them and let them pass.

According to Psychology Today, the purpose of meditation is to “curb reactivity to one’s negative thoughts and feelings, which, though they may be disturbing and upsetting and hijack attention from moment to moment, are invariably fleeting.”

 

What are the benefits of meditation?

There are many benefits of meditation, but perhaps the biggest takeaway is that meditating for as little as 10 minutes, according to Psychology Today, can decrease anxiety and depression.

If you are someone who struggles with either of those things in your daily life, meditation may be something to consider. The health benefits of meditation are very real.

Further, meditation has been around for a very long time, and for good reason. Those who meditate say that it is a powerful way to connect to the present moment and practice being present in general, therefore making their lives more rich and full.

It also helps people to stop believing that every thought they have is fact. Not every thought needs to mean something. You can determine which thoughts to add meaning to.

Additionally, many people feel much calmer after they meditate, and calm minds are much better prepared to deal with high-stress situations that often pop up in life. So, meditating may make it a little easier to deal with whatever life throws at you.

And lastly, meditation helps you relax. It helps you take a “well deserved” break from yourself, according to Indian entrepreneur and investor Naval Ravikant.

And I couldn’t agree more.

I’m one of those people who goes for a walk, and 15 minutes later realizes that I was so caught up in my thoughts that I wasn’t present at all during that time. It feels like a blur, thanks to my inability to stay focused on the present moment. Can you relate to this at all?

Thankfully, meditation is something I find comfort in, because no matter how badly I tend to get swept away in my thoughts, I can always come back to practice being more present.

At the end of the day, the practice of meditation can be extremely difficult for even one minute by yourself. And that’s where these quotes come in 🙂

What’s interesting, however, is that even though these meditation quotes are funny, you’ll probably still be encouraged to try mediating!

Here are all the best and most funny meditation and mindfulness quotes!

 

Funny Meditation Quotes

This post is all about the best funny meditation quotes and sayings.

 

Funny Quotes About Meditation

The following quotes and sayings talk about meditation (something that usually has a more-serious reputation!) in a way that is light and funny. These meditation and mindfulness sayings are sure to bring a smile to your face!

 

1. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” – Dalai Lama

2. “Inhale the good sh*t, exhale the bullsh*t.” – Unknown

3. “I have lived with several Zen masters – all of them cats.” – Eckhart Tolle

4. “If you can’t meditate in a boiler room, you can’t meditate.” – Alan Watts

5. “You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day unless you’re too busy, then you should sit for an hour.” – Zen Proverb

6. “What day is it?” asked Pooh. “It’s today,” squeaked Piglet. “My favorite day,” said Pooh.” – Winnie the Pooh by A. A. Milne

7. “Tell yourself when you sit down, “my job is to do nothing. I’m taking a well deserved break from myself.” – Naval Ravikant

8. “I sat quietly with my own thoughts today. Remind me to never ever do that again.” – BizwareMagic

9. “I want to learn to live in the moment. Just not this moment.” – Unknown

10. “If it weren’t for my mind, my meditation would be excellent.” – Ani Pema Chödrön

11. “So what is a good meditator? The one who meditates.”- Allan Lokos

12. “Give me a minute. I’m busy overreacting to something.” – LastLemon

13. “The more I have, the more I want. I wish I didn’t want. But that’s also a want. You see, this is why I don’t meditate.” – Cathy Thorne

14. “Meditation helps you stay in a clear-headed state so that when challenges come at you, you can deal with them like a ninja – in a calm thoughtful way.” – Ray Dalio

15. “Don’t just do something — Sit there!” – Unknown

16. “I’m not too sure about an inner child, but I have an inner idiot that surfaces once in a while.” – Unknown

17. “I need an alert on my phone to tell me when my namaste cup is running low, so I don’t unnecessarily lose my sh*t on someone.” – @yogimemes

18. “Meditation. The best excuse for doing almost nothing and calling it something.” – Unknown

19. “Today I will live in the moment. Unless the moment is unpleasant, in which case I will eat a cookie.” – Cathy Thorne

20. “The light in me acknowledges the dimness in you.” – Cathy Thorne

21. “You’ve mastered the selfie. Now master the self.” – Unknown

22. “Are you not thinking what I’m not thinking?” – Yoga-Linda

23. “I regret meditating every day. Said no one ever!!!” – Unknown

24. “Meditation: Because some answers can only be found on the inner net.” – Shira Tamir

25. “Meditation. Because punching people in the face is not allowed.” – Unknown

 

Woman practicing yoga and meditating.

 

26. “I’ve learned to use meditation and relaxation to handle stress. Just kidding, I’m on my third glass of wine.” – Unknown

27. “It feels good. Kinda like when you have to shut your computer down, just sometimes when it goes crazy, you just shut it down and when you turn it on, it’s okay again. That’s what meditation is to me.” – Ellen DeGeneres

28. “I am practicing mindfulness, compassion, and loving kindness so don’t piss me off :)” – Unknown

29. “Your calm mind is the ultimate weapon against your challenges. So relax.” – Bryant McGill

30. “To earn the trust of your meditation, you have to visit it everyday. It’s like having a puppy.”- Chelsea Richer

31. “If every 8-year old in the world is taught meditation, we will eliminate violence from the world within one generation.” – Dalai Lama

32. “All of man’s difficulties are caused by his inability to sit, quietly, in a room by himself.” – Blaise Pascal

33. “Sorry for what I said before I meditated.” – Unknown

34. “There are 1440 minutes in a day. They’ll all be better if you take 10 of them to meditate.” – Marie Forleo

35. “Yoga and Meditation – because some questions can’t be answered by Google.” – Unknown

36. When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: “I wish no gifts, only presence” – Unknown

37. “I meditate so that my mind cannot complicate my life” – Sri Chinmoy

38. “When you realize how perfect everything is, you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.” – Buddha

39. “A few conscious-hearted, sincere, and energetic men and women can do more in a year than a mob in a century.” – Swami Vivekananda

40. “Change is inevitable– except from a vending machine.” – Robert C. Gallagher

41. “It’s like having… you know, your phone has a charger, right? It’s like having a charger for your whole body and mind. That’s what Transcendental Meditation is!” – Jerry Seinfeld

42. “Meditation is the ultimate mobile device; you can use it anywhere, anytime, unobtrusively.” – Sharon Salzberg

43. “Don’t do any task in order to get it over with. Resolve to do each job in a relaxed way, with all your attention. Enjoy and be one with your work.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

44. “If you have time to breathe, you have time to meditate.” – Ajahn Bram

45. “You are a little soul carrying about a corpse, as Epictetus used to say.” – Marcus Aurelius

46. “Mindfulness is a quality that’s always there. It’s an illusion that there’s a meditation and post-meditation period, which I always find amusing, because you’re either mindful or you’re not.” – Richard Gere

47. “Meditation is the weight room for the mind.” – Ed Lattimore

48. “Your intuition knows her sh*t.” – Unknown

49. “I meditate. I burn candles. I drink green tea, and I still want to smack people.” – Unknown

50. “In meditation we can watch the itch instead of scratching it.” – Ram Dass

51. “Tell your negative mind to ‘SHUT UP’. Breathe. Reach for a positive thought. Enjoy your day!” – Gratitude Habitat

52. “Told you so. Sincerely, Your Intuition.” – Unknown

 

Funny Meditation One Liners and Sayings

Here are the best mediation one liners and sayings. If you’re looking for funny meditation captions that you can use on Instagram or other social media, for example, you’re in the right spot!

 

1. Forgot to meditate yesterday. That makes it 5 years in a row now.

2. What’s most challenging about meditation is not checking my phone for an hour.

3. “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” – Jon Kabat-Zinn

4. “Don’t let anyone rent a space in your head unless they’re a good tenant.” – Unknown

5. “That’s what I do. I meditate and I know things.” – Unknown

6. “Check on yourself as much as you check on your Instagram.” – Unknown

7. “Wherever you go, there you are” – Jon Kabat-Zinn

8. “Don’t stress meowt.” – Unknown

9. “We are human beings. Not human doings.” – Unknown

10. “Hurry up, inner peace. I don’t have all day.” – Unknown

11. “I’m not lazy. I’m meditating.” – Unknown

12. “Let that sh*t go.” – Unknown

13. “Heavily meditated.” – Unknown

14. Sorry. Can’t. Meditation. Bye.

15. Today, I will conquer the world. But first, meditation.

16. Temporarily closed for meditative maintenance.

17. I’m sorry for what I said before I meditated.

18. I’m mostly all love and light with a little bit of STFU.

19. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. That’s what meditating is all about.

20. Meditation is my medication.

 

Woman meditating in her living room.

 

21. Don’t hate, meditate.

22. Meditation activated. Over-thinking deactivated.

23. “Meditation: it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.” – Unknown

24. Thou shalt not kill my vibe.

25. Log out. Shut down. Meditate.

26. Inhale the future. Exhale the past.

27. Meditation quiets your mind.

28. Warning: Meditation may cause extreme happiness.

29. My Morning Checklist: Coffee. Journal. Meditate.

30. Less drama. More meditation.

31. First I do the meditation. Then I do the things.

32. You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes, you just need to meditate.

33. Friends don’t let friends skip meditation.

34. Today’s good mood is sponsored by meditation.

35. Monday. Nothing a bit of meditation can’t fix.

36. Keep calm and meditate.

37. Please grant me coffee for the things I can change. And meditation for the things I cannot.

 

Funny Meditation Gifts

Do you need a funny gift for a meditation lover or yogi in your life? Here are some great, affordable gifts from Amazon!

 

1. “Let That Sh*t Go” Wine Glass

This is the best thing for the wine, yoga, and meditation lover in your life!

 

Let that shit go wine glass.

Buy On Amazon

 

2. Stress Relief & Selfcare Cards

In this box are 52 stress less and self care cards with various mindfulness and meditation exercises. These cards are great for someone who has anxiety and could use a little relief and relaxation.

 

Stress relief and self care cards.

Be present message on a card.

Buy On Amazon

 

Meditation & Yoga T-Shirt

If you have a friend/loved one that loves hot yoga, here’s a super cute top that they can wear to their next yoga class!

 

Inhale exhale tank top.

Buy On Amazon

 

Autobiography of a Yogi by Yogananda Paramahamsa

I learned about this book through a work colleague who recommended I read it for an introduction to the philosophy of Yoga. Yoga, as I’m sure you know, is a very focused form of meditation and a great workout, too.

According to Amazon, this book was published in 1946 and “is still one of the most widely read and respected books ever published on the wisdom of the East.”

 

Autobiography of a Yogi book.

Buy On Amazon

 

Final Thoughts

What is your favorite funny mindfulness quote or saying? Are you going to try out meditation after reading this post?

Your first time meditating may be a little difficult or uncomfortable. If you’re not really sure how to do it, you can use a meditation app like Headspace. Headspace is free and offers various guided meditations that you can use to help you.

All in all, mindfulness meditation is a great practice to get into if you want to develop a better relationship with your inner self and your outer world. Good luck 🙂

 

This post was all about funny meditation quotes.

 

Other posts you might like:

15 Best Books To Develop Intuition And Inner Wisdom

22 Poems About Mindfulness To Help You Be More Present

 


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A few years after graduating college, Taylor made it her mission to become debt free. After paying off all $60k of debt, she began to blog about what she's really passionate about: personal development. Nowadays, Taylor blogs about the topics of Mindset, Money, Health, and Career for women. Read more about Taylor here.

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