10 Ways To Improve Sibling Relationships As Adults

Are you wondering how to improve sibling relationships as adults?

I am the oldest of three girls, and I like to think that me and my sisters are all pretty close. I am 1.5 years older than my middle sister, and 8 years older than the youngest one.

Despite the age gap between me and my youngest sister, the three of us have all managed to maintain a really great friendship : ) 

Before writing this blog post, I started thinking about how exactly my sisters are some of my best friends. How did we get here and how have we been able to maintain our relationships all this time, despite living in different states and having completely different lives?

In this blog post, I’ve written all the things that me and my sisters have done over the years to maintain our close relationship.

I believe these tips can help any siblings, but to be clear, this blog post isn’t about how to “deal” with siblings that you don’t get along with.

This is strictly about how to make a good relationship with your siblings even better <3

Also, in writing this blog post I want to mention that while I love my sisters and we are quite close, we definitely have our moments haha.

Our relationship is far from perfect and we often annoy the h*** out of each other. Nevertheless, they mean the world to me : ) so here we go!

 

This post is all about 10 ways to improve sibling relationships as adults.

sibling relationships in adulthood

 

1. Create a group chat just for you and your sibling(s)

My sisters and I have a group chat called “Sistas” and it’s just us three. This group chat gives us free range to talk about whatever we want without having to worry what our parents might think (haha). 

This group chat helps the three of us stay connected. Even if I need to send just one of my sisters a message, I’ll sometimes put it in the group chat so that my other sister is in the loop and a part of our conversation anyway.

You don’t need to talk every day to have a good relationship with your siblings, but having a group chat that you text every now and then is a great way to develop a “hey, I know you’re out there and I love you” kind of vibe.

Oddly, I believe our group chat helps solidify the bond that the three of us have as sisters and friends. It’s our place to all chat together when we’re too tired or busy to call or see each other in person. It’s a way of communicating that is low energy but still allows us to stay in touch. 

We can show each other that we are thinking of each other by sending a quick text, meme, gif, whatever – a little effort in the group chat goes a long way.

 

2. Plan times to talk on the phone

Life these days can be really busy. If that’s the case for you and your sibling(s), try planning a time to talk. Maybe you can schedule a FaceTime call for a random Wednesday night after school or work, or maybe you decide to implement a recurring call – but if you need to schedule calls because everyone’s too busy otherwise, then do that!

There’s something about talking on the phone or communicating via video that is a little bit more personal and intimate than just texting. Being able to see your sibling(s) reactions to things and hear the tone and inflection in their voice when they are speaking will make for a more genuine communicative experience.

To be honest, my sisters and I aren’t very successful when it comes to scheduling calls to talk to one another, so we usually opt for #3 (keep reading!). 

 

3. Call / text your sibling(s) randomly

If scheduling calls feels too structured or your schedules are ever-changing and you never really know when you’ll have free time, try calling your sibling(s) randomly.

If your sibling(s) is/are busy, they won’t answer and it’s no big deal. Maybe they’ll even call you back at a later time. But if they’re on a walk listening to a podcast or sitting on their couch watching Netflix, they may just answer the phone for ya! 

If you happen to think of your sibling, you just want to vent to them about a specific thing, or you simply want to see how they are doing, give them a call. 

 

what are the important characteristics of sibling relationships
Me (right) and my younger sisters, Katie (left) and Jenna (middle).

 

4. Plan visits/trips to see each other

When’s the last time you and your sibling(s) planned a trip with just each other? 

Visiting each other or planning a trip somewhere can be a little tough with everyone’s busy schedules, but if you can make a plan that’ll work, this is a great way to bond and spend some quality time together.

If a trip for just you and your siblings doesn’t seem likely because of significant others, families or other obligations, then invite whoever else needs to come along for it to work. But just like you would plan a trip with your best friends, you can also plan a trip with your sibling(s). 

Planning a trip also shows your siblings that of all the things that you could do with your time, you want to spend it with them. This goes a long way in terms of building a strong relationship with your siblings.

 

5. Take a genuine interest in what’s going on in their lives

Did your sibling just have a baby? Pass a test that they’ve been studying really hard for? Become official with their significant other? Whatever your sibling(s) is/are going through in life, it helps if you take a genuine interest in it.

Not only does this give you something to talk about, but if you are genuinely interested, it shows your sibling that you care about how they’re doing. 

I’m sure if you’re reading this that you are a thoughtful, kind sister/brother and that you’d love to know what’s going on in your sibling(s) lives, so… if they are willing to talk about it, then ask them!

 

6. Celebrate each other (birthdays, accomplishments, etc.)

Something that I think is a little underrated is celebrating the people you love with meaningful gifts or notes.

As many times as I’ve heard people say “I don’t really care about my birthday”, I’ve never actually met anyone who doesn’t like to feel a little love on their day. And the same goes for a big accomplishment – your sibling(s) should be celebrated when they’ve accomplished something that means something to them – so this tip is all about helping them do just that.

Write your sibling(s) a meaningful letter or get them a thoughtful gift. What you end up getting them or doing for them really isn’t important. What’s important is you showing that you care about this special day in the life of your sibling. Things like this don’t go unnoticed and can absolutely help to strengthen the bond that you have with your sibling(s).

 

importance of sibling relationships
Me (right) and my little sister, Jenna (left).

 

7. When you’re in the same place, plan to spend time with each other 

Are there ever times when you and your siblings get together for family events like weddings or holidays? During these times, if possible, try to carve out some time to do something with just you and your sibling(s).

Whether that be going out to dinner, to a brewery, to a coffee shop, whatever it may be – be intentional about the fact that you are all together and schedule in some time.

It can be really hard to get together, but if you happen to be together for another event, you should take advantage of this time and use it to spend time and connect with your siblings in person.

For example, my family went on a trip to Europe this year, and while we were there, my sisters and I made sure to do something on our own. We ended up going out to Temple Bar in Dublin, Ireland which is a popular spot with a bunch of bars and restaurants and we had a great time. This time together gave us an opportunity to bond, experience something new together, and create more memories.

 

8. Tell them you want to be closer with them

At the end of the day, if you want to be closer with your sibling(s), you could always speak up and let them know this. 

Telling your siblings that you’d like to spend more time with them and communicate more can feel pretty vulnerable, but if being close with your siblings is something that you really want and value, then it is absolutely worth speaking up.

If you want to be closer with your siblings, chances are that they feel the same way about you. 

 

9. Be upfront about how you want to be treated 

If your sibling does or says something that you don’t like, respectfully let them know. Otherwise, your sibling will never know that it’s a problem and they might keep doing it, which can hinder your relationship.

For example, it helps to be honest with your siblings about the topics or things that are on or off limits for conversation. You may be thinking of something right now that you don’t appreciate your sibling(s) bringing up. If you haven’t told them that that thing bothers you, the next time you have the opportunity to let them know in a calm manner and in a private environment, do so. 

Being honest with each other and vocal about how you want to be treated will help set you up for a more respectful, healthy relationship with your sibling(s).

 

5 types of sibling relationships
Jenna (left) and Katie (right).

 

10. Lean on them – be vulnerable in times of need

Are you going through something that your sibling has been through before? Maybe they have some wisdom that you could benefit from. Being vulnerable is rarely easy, but surely your siblings would be more than happy to at least try and help you with something that you’re going through.

When you lean on someone for advice, wisdom or words of encouragement, it shows that person that you really value their time and outlook. This is, in my opinion, a great way to show someone that you love, respect, and care about them. And of course, your sibling(s) will love to be able to support and carry you through something, too. 

Plus, when you open up to a sibling and share a personal piece of your life with them, they may be more likely to open up to you in the future, too.

 

This post was all about 10 ways to improve sibling relationships as adults.

 

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About Taylor

About Taylor

A few years after graduating college, Taylor made it her mission to become debt free. After paying off all $60k of debt, she began to blog about what she's really passionate about: personal development. Nowadays, Taylor blogs about the topics of Mindset, Money, Health, and Career for women.

"It's Per$onal" is a super popular and anonymous blog series about the personal lives and finances of women all over the world. Check it out!

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