Everyone always says weddings are expensive, but I never really understood what that meant until now.
When I look at the prices of each and every individual expense, it makes sense – I understand why specific wedding items and services cost what they do. But then when I see the estimated total cost for my wedding day, I can’t quite wrap my head around it. How did we get here? I wonder.
Let me backup. My fiancé and I have not picked a wedding venue yet. We got engaged in April of 2024. We just started touring venues in October, and have found one we really love, but I made the responsible mistake of estimating the cost of our wedding if we were to go with the venue that we love.
I say it’s a “responsible mistake” because while I am proud of myself for trying to calculate the total financial impact that having a wedding at this particular venue would have on us, I also kind of paralyzed our search because now we’re wondering… is paying this much for a wedding really something that we want to do?
And because we can’t really decide on an answer to that question, we’re at a bit of a standstill. Do we have a “normal” wedding that costs tens of thousands of dollars, or do we have something really small? Thoughts like “well, this is a once in a lifetime experience” cross my mind, but are then followed by thoughts like “are you really going to pay that much for one day?”.
Safe to say, that’s my wedding venue update: we are still trying to figure it out.
In the meantime, I asked my followers over at Imperfect Taylor on Instagram for some wedding venue advice, and as usual, yall offered so much valuable feedback.
Of course I’ve put it all in this post for you with my thoughts alongside some of them. Here goes!
Wedding Venue Advice from followers of @imperfecttaylor
1. Elope!
2. Find a venue that is also where guests can stay. Guests loved that everything was in 1 place.
3. When estimating BYOB alcohol costs:
For every 50 people:
- 18 bottles of wine
- 4.5 cases of beer
- 2 half gallons of liquor
4. If outside/beach, a back up ceremony spot that is included.
Love this advice. I’d love to get married outside, but the weather is such a toss up in Florida. Most places I’ve seen have had backup plans (indoor areas for ceremonies) which is great!
5. My venue had a closet of decor left behind from couple for us to use for free
I LOVE this! A few of the venues we’ve gone to have said something similar.
6. Find something beautiful as-is that won’t need “beautifying” – costs a lot of $ fast
I love this advice and this is definitely something that I am looking out for. I know flowers / decor can be so expensive and I really don’t want to spend a lot of money on either of those things.
7. See if the venue does a weekday / off season discount
8. Find a venue that includes chairs / napkins / plates / cutlery / etc.
I would LOVE to find a venue that offered this. It seems some food caterers allow you to rent items as well so we’re definitely going to look into that.
9. Once you pick a venue, use their recommendations so your vendors are familiar with the venue
10. See if the venue has their own wedding coordinator
Definitely looking into this! Some venues seem to offer this for an added fee which is kind of a bummer.
11. Check a few places out according to what you both want
12. Pick somewhere that has a lot included (decor, cake, day of planner, etc.)
13. A venue that allows you to choose your own caterer, bartender, etc.
I do love the freedom of choice with this!
14. A venue that allows BYOB will save you so much money
I have heard a lot of people say that if you don’t end up using unopened bottles of alcohol that you can often return them. Someone also suggested shopping at the commissary for better prices if you are military!
15. Make sure you understand their pricing, tipping requirements, and inclement weather policy
I had no idea some venues have tipping requirements so this was very eye opening for me.
16. Everything is negotiable. You can’t get what you don’t ask for.
Okay this advice is huge for me to read right now. If this is true, I just might try it. I never back down from a negotiation!
17. Buy out a fancy restaurant
Definitely looking into this, too. If not for the wedding day at least for the rehearsal dinner!
18. Have a day of coordinator even if the venue doesn’t have it. It’ll make the day so stress free
I can only imagine how helpful this must be.
19. Great bathrooms, especially for the females! Also if your dress is big, you will need a bigger one
Yes to this!! The place where I’ll get ready is so important to me haha. Must have natural lighting! Must not feel crammed!
20. Choose somewhere that is near things (like bars) so post-reception people can go out if they want
21. Look at where the bar is – is it separate from the function? You don’t want to lose guests out there
22. Communication/how you’re treated as a potential customer. Listen to your gut if something feels off.
Someone else said… The way they give you a tour is important. If they spend time with you, listen to you, really give you their full attention, that’s a green flag.
23. Read your contract thoroughly before you sign anything
24. Go in with a vision and some non-negotiables and take your time to talk to them about it
25. All inclusive makes life SO EASY (tables, chairs, tablecloths, barware, glassware, food)
26. Think about lighting and how it will photograph!
27. Think about what amenities the venue comes with + the wedding vibe!
28. Think of unconventional places! I’m getting married at a cafe and it’s so much cheaper
29. Make sure you know your people count (ish) and the overall feel you want before going in!
30. Find out peak pricing months venues set – we chose the first weekend of the month after
31. Think outside the box – we got married on a Thursday and saved so much money
32. Stick to your budget, no matter how perfect you think the place is
33. Do you need a venue that is handicap accessible for your guests?
34. Google the venue and see what it looks like through the eyes of a professional photographer. Check out previous weddings that were held there.
35. Check the restrooms. If they’re dirty, pass.
36. Go early to see how you feel before being sold by a person.
37. Less doors the better. Looking for people in a venue with lots of doors can turn into a funhouse.
38. If the venue were to shut down before your day, catch fire, etc., do you get your full $ back?
That’s it for now! Thank you to all of the people who so generously offered their words of wisdom. I am taking ALL of this to heart. I will definitely give you all an update when I have one 🙂
P.S.
A reel I must admit is a little bit too relatable rn – whoops!:
And a wedding post I appreciated recently:
Imperfectly,
Taylor
